This is my place: supporting Autistic children’s wellbeing in neuro-affirming ways
During Children’s Mental Health Week, the theme of “This Is My Place” invites us to rethink how we support Autistic children. Helen Edgar explores how creating safe, neuro-affirming spaces – where children’s sensory needs, communication, and interests are respected –helps them feel they truly belong and thrive.
Children’s Mental Health Week 2026 invites us to pause and reflect on how we care for young people’s wellbeing. This year’s theme, This Is My Place, asks us to think about belonging, about where children feel safe, understood, and able to be themselves. For Autistic children, this question is especially important. Place is not only about physical spaces it is also about relationships, routines, sensory environments, and the unspoken messages children receive about whether they are welcomed as they are. It is about whether a child can feel safe in their body. We need to consider if our spaces, relationships, and expectations allow children to be fully themselves. Too often, support focuses on changing children to fit into neuronormative expectations rather than changing the environments and relational support they have. Well-meaning adults may discourage stimming, push eye contact, prioritise compliance, or reward children for “fitting in.” These approaches teach children that their comfort, their sensory needs, their unique ways of communicating and their actual identity are less important than appearing “acceptable” or “normal”. Over time, this can erode well-being and impact their mental health.
A neuroaffirming approach offers something different. It recognises that good mental health grows through relationships and supportive environments. It understands that well-being is shaped not only by what happens inside a child, but also by everything that surrounds and supports them, and by how they have access to those supports.
Wellbeing grows in spaces that feel safe
For many Autistic children, feeling safe is deeply connected to sensory and relational experiences. Noise, lighting, crowds, unpredictable or fast transitions, expectations to dress and communicate in certain ways, and social pressure can all place strain on a child’s nervous system.
When children continually mask and try to suppress their identity to manage overwhelm, their bodies remain alert and in a state of high arousal. Rest can become difficult, learning and connection can become harder, and their distress may show up through shutdowns, meltdowns, anger, anxiety or exhaustion.
Creating safety means noticing the small things that can make a big difference to an Autistic person:
The softness or harshness of light and other sensory stimuli
The availability of quiet spaces that they have autonomy of
The predictability and flexibility of routines that are built in collaboration with them
The freedom to move, stim, rest and engage in their interests in their own ways and own time
What may seem like little details matter; they can shape how regulated children feel in their bodies. When environments are calm, flexible, and responsive, safety becomes something children can sense and feel. Having adults around them who understand their unique ways of communicating and having access to supports that align with their sensory profiles can make a big difference and build trust, which supports good mental health.
Meaningful connections
Autistic children often express distress through behaviour. What looks like “refusal,” “meltdown,” or “acting out” is often a sign that something is too much, too fast, too confusing, or feels unsafe.
Neuroaffirming support is responsive and begins with curiosity and building meaningful connections and understanding that being Autistic isn’t anything you need to change, but a way of being that needs support. We need to consider what the young person is showing us about their experience and how they are feeling.
Instead of trying to stop the what may be seen as ‘challenging behaviour’, we need to look for the meaning behind it:
Is the space overwhelming or under stimulating?
Is the demand too high?
Are they tired, hungry, tired or anxious?
Has something unexpected happened?
Consider what may have happened sometime again that may just be surfacing
When adults respond with patience and openness, children learn that their feelings matter, even when they are confusing and hard to express.
Many ways of knowing and expressing feelings
Some Autistic children find it difficult to recognise or describe emotions, especially when they are feeling things very intensely, but lack the language to explain them. Traditional “emotional skills” programmes often rely on verbal reflection and an understanding of being able to relate bodily signals and translate them into emotional language, which many Autistic children struggle with due to interoceptive differences and alexithymia.
Support can take many forms:
Visual emotion scales
Body maps
Art and sensory / interest-led play
Movement
Quiet processing time
Offering a presence to co-regulate
Access to sensory tools, fidget toys and movement
When children are offered multiple ways to explore their inner worlds and regulate, they are more likely to develop self-awareness and confidence and find out what works for them.
Creating safe spaces
Many Autistic children learn from an early age that being themselves carries risks. They may hide their stimming, suppress how they want to move their bodies, or copy peers to fit in, as this behaviour has often been rewarded over time. This performance and constant masking may help them survive in unwelcoming environments, but they come at a cost, are not sustainable, and can lead to burnout, which impacts mental health.
Constant self-monitoring and masking are exhausting, and they can result in increased anxiety, low self-esteem, and burnout.
Neuroaffirming relationships and spaces offer:
Permission to move and regulate as and when needed
Respect for different communication styles
Acceptance of breaks and pauses
Safety in expressing and regulating in needs in different ways
When children no longer have to perform for approval, they can focus on learning, relating, and growing, meeting their sensory and relational needs.
Honouring interests
Deep interests are often central to Autistic children’s well-being. They offer comfort, meaning, focus, and joy. Through interests, children explore the world, develop identity, and build confidence.
Rather than seeing interests as distractions or something of little more meaning than a hobby, we can recognise them as emotional anchors and learning pathways. When interests are valued, children feel seen. Having more time to spend on activities and experiences that bring them joy can be really energising and support their well-being.
Wellbeing is shaped by systems
Children’s mental health is influenced by schools, healthcare, policies, and cultural attitudes. When systems are rigid and deficit-focused, children struggle with their mental health, it erodes their sense of identity and reinforces the message that there is something wrong with them. When systems are flexible, relational, and respectful, children can thrive authentically and embrace their Autistic identity.
Supporting Autistic children’s well-being means advocating for:
Inclusive neuro-affirmative education and therapy services
Trauma-informed practice
Accessible services
Family support
Listening to and learning from Autistic people
It means designing systems that meet the needs of the individual, rather than forcing Autistic people to fit into systems
A shared responsibility
During Children’s Mental Health Week, we are invited to think carefully about the places we are creating for Autistic children, in our homes, schools, services, and communities. Are these places where children feel listened to, supported, and valued? Are they places where stimming is accepted, communication differences are respected, needs are met, and Autistic ways of being are affirmed? Neuroaffirming support is built through everyday choices: how we listen, respond, design our systems, and share power. When we centre safety, agency, autonomy and connection, we help Autistic children grow into lives that feel grounded and meaningful. We can help them build a positive Autistic identity and know and believe, “This is my place. I belong here, as I am”.
