5 tips for managing the demands of the festive season

Researcher and lecturer Krysia Waldock shares five key tips for managing the physical, sensory and emotional demands of the festive season.

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he upcoming festive season can be difficult for some Neurodivergent people. This can be due to the standards and norms set by society, placing big expectations on the festive season. These expectations can be non-Neurodivergent affirming and can be difficult to navigate, especially if you are the only known Neurodivergent person amongst the company you will be spending the season with. Here are my five ‘top tips’ for managing the festive season as a Neurodivergent person: 

01.
Be kind to yourself 

The festive season often comes with more demands to socialise and attend activities or social events. These demands may be more than you are used to, therefore it is okay to need some rest.   

A rest can be physical rest of laying and recharging your energy, but there are other ways you can rest too. The extra demands of the season may come with more sensory information and load: ensuring you wear clothes you find comfortable, wearing noise cancelling headphones and giving yourself time and space to stim also can help. It might be that you only are able to give yourself a sensory rest when you are alone due to others not understanding - this is absolutely fine and just as valid.  

If the festive season is a difficult time of the year for you, having a plan for if you do struggle or need support and a plan for something nice after the festive season can also be part of being kind to yourself.   

02.
Know that it’s fine if your needs are different to the needs of people around you

Neurodivergent people also have a constellation of different needs -  we are not all the same. There is no one set way, or right way to navigate through the festive season.  

We may also have traditions and beliefs we wish to honour (religious and/or non-religous), and these too will not necessarily be the same - including between those you spend the festive season with. If possible, carve out a space to do something for you that aligns with what you need and your traditions/beliefs. These could include watching a film with your family or friends, going to see some Christmas lights or attending a religious service.  

It is important to note here too some neurodivergent people may be spending the festive season alone, and find this difficult. In this case, make some time to do something for you (be it joining others or not) is incredibly important.   

03.
Set boundaries (if you can)

Setting boundaries during this particularly busy time of year is part of being kind to yourself. 

Being clear with the amount of time you can spend on an activity or event can be helpful to let others know your boundaries. For example, if I spend 30 minutes downstairs at a large gathering, I will need 45 minutes to decompress afterwards; or do I really need to attend a large work Christmas party after hours, could I attend a lunch time gathering instead? This gives a concrete way of protecting you whilst also being able to take part in festivities.  

Saying ‘no’ to events is also important to do if you need to. Only attending as much as you are able to may not be understood, but it can help you be able to give your best to other events or activities.   

Even if you are a neurodivergent person who loves being busy and attending events, do ensure you listen to your needs and set boundaries as needed.   

04.
Set your own routine and structure 

Knowing what is going to happen when can really help at this busy time of year, and lower the cognitive load. Using a day overview in a planner or calendar, or setting phone alarms can really help.  

It might be helpful to include time to rest within your routine if you can. You may not be able to, especially if the season is very busy or the company you have are less understanding.  

05.
Have some support you can fall back onto 

Some of us will be spending the festive season with supportive people, others of us may not be. Either way, having someone you can talk to, or just be with without judgement is important. This could be a family member, a friend, or a support line or text line.