An Autistic Summer Holiday Survival Guide
With the summer holiday season approaches, Lucy Gilbert reflects on embracing a different perspective on holidays, and offers some travel tips whilst encouraging holidaying in a way that works for you.
Recently I needed my passport for an identification check and realised it was 5 years out of date. With it expiring whilst I was heavily pregnant, I hadn’t rushed to renew knowing that with a newborn there wouldn’t be much opportunity for travel. Then the pandemic hit and then life just got…busy. But in truth these were all excuses for why my passport didn’t get renewed, and I only just feel comfortable with admitting to myself that I just don’t like travelling, and, by extension, holidays. And that’s ok.
Before discovering I was Autistic, every holiday I’d been on, no matter to where, always followed the same pattern. I would be incredibly irritable and on edge while travelling, fizzing with anxiety I couldn’t recognise or name. Then upon arrival at a hotel, would rush to the bathroom, not to check out the fancy tub or toiletries, but throw up from a migraine. Then straight into the bed with any scenic window view not appreciated for hours while I recovered in darkness. I’d then take around 2 days to acclimatise to my environment. The same mysterious anxiety fuelled by not knowing my way around, too much unfamiliarity and new, often intense sensory experiences. And a generous side helping of guilt for being grumpy and not appreciating the holiday. I’d need an itinerary for the rest of the stay, to clutch onto as a safety blanket. Then almost as soon as I’d settled into the rhythm of the holiday enough to enjoy it, it would be time to face the travel home. I could never quite understand why I didn’t feel how other people looked on holiday.
A late discovery of Autism, finally explained why I didn’t seem to enjoy holidays in the way I thought I should. Now I have the understanding I can give myself permission to embrace what works for me and my family.
I can be honest around what I find relaxing. For instance, the imagery around the word ‘Wunderlust’ fills me with dread. I feel most free when I know unstructured activity is nestled safely between known and fixed anchor points. I can start to relax when I feel cocooned in familiarity and predictability.
You can never be sure what to expect when visiting new places, these anchor points are unknown. A friend recently joked of her family’s spreadsheet dictating their 3 day London city break, with tourist attractions, tickets, timings, food plans, contingencies all accounted for. I commented their family photos were nice but I wanted to see the spreadsheet more. This wasn’t a joke but it got some laughs. Now I’ve seen it it’s a thing of beauty to my mind and I’m wondering if it’s weird to copy their trip with it's predetermined anchor points!
Now you won’t be surprised that my husband says “What’s the plan?” has always been my catchphrase. I’d never realised just how much my husband accommodated my needs which he graciously saw as my quirks. From translating restaurant menus before departure because suggesting we’ll “grab a baguette” in Paris or “stop by an ice cream place” in Italy was not precise enough, to streamlining my packing. I’d pack as though foreign countries did not have shops. I’d emulate a travelling pharmacy to cover for every eventuality. Those cosmetic and pharmaceutical lotions and potions sat at the back of the cupboard, covered in dust from years untouched? Essential.
As our children have got older I worry they’ve missed out on holidays abroad. But we do plenty of day trips and stays with family across the country instead. And none of us have to pretend to enjoy those. We’ve also truly enjoyed Centre parcs holidays. Where I think I may have achieved this sense of switching off people talk about with holidays. And it makes sense why this is a successful Neurodivergent family destination. There are no surprises, you know what to expect, and with all the activities on offer, you’re encouraged to holiday to an itinerary.
So whilst there may be a gap in the market for a Neurodivergent travel company, here are some top travel tips….
Research your destination as much as you can, read reviews
View google photos of your accommodation and local area. Google street view can make somewhere feel a little more familiar if you’ve seen it on the screen before
Choose a travel buddy wisely, a holiday with someone who matches your energy levels will be more enjoyable for both of you
Create a draft itinerary before you go, there is nothing wrong with needing a framework for what your holiday will look like
Schedule in time to decompress and adjust when you arrive
Remember sensory aids. Travel involves navigating highly sensory environments. Sunglasses, hats, ear plugs, headphones, scents can help to filter out if you find yourself getting overwhelmed.
Consider packing safe foods. This can help while adjusting to a new place, and may relieve the pressure of having to find food immediately when you arrive.
Be aware of travel assistance available at airports or stations. There will often be quieter lounges to wait in or, or a friendly face to answer questions or provide advice if there’s any unexpected changes or delays during travel
Consider ways you can keep elements of your routine the same. Familiar items can provide consistency.
Most importantly a holiday is a break from your usual life demands to rest and recharge. And everyone recharges differently. So whether you holiday exploring a new destination, revisiting familiar places or appreciating home comforts, own it and enjoy it!
