Working with the nervous system to understand and support regulation

The challenge for autistic people, like me, is that our sensory processing needs add an extra layer of stress and arousal to our already taxed and over stimulated nervous system. Our ‘window of tolerance’ is usually smaller meaning regulation is not the day-to-day experience for us. The parasympathetic portion of the nervous system that helps the body to relax after periods of stress or danger is harder to access. This takes a toll on our health. Sadly, this is why burn out is such a common phenomenon amongst neurodivergent individuals. My personal experience attests to this.

Living in a dysregulated state – in sympathetic fight/flight arousal – unfortunately is routine and the norm for autistic people. We are constantly being tested and triggered. Think bright paint, strong perfume, car alarms, loud music, shouting, scrapping chairs, scratchy school uniforms, over heated offices. Think passive aggressive comments, vague instructions, sarcasm. Our highly refined nervous systems are easily pushed into panic and overwhelm.

Autism-friendly environments meet the needs of the body – most specifically, the nervous system. The most important priority within settings like schools and inpatient services is the cultivation of embodied safety. Meeting sensory processing needs and promoting staff regulation enables staff to coregulate with autistic students and patients, creates safety in relating and further reduces the body’s stress response.

The most important priority within settings like schools and inpatient services is the cultivation of embodied safety.

Building capacity and growing our window of tolerance – the space where we can deal with what is happening in the moment without experiencing an unmanageable amount of sensation and emotion which inevitably builds and triggers a melt-down – requires wholesale change in working and living environments. Think warm lighting, neutral colours, natural fabrics, silent alarms and you are starting to picture both a nervous system and autism friendly space. Clear instructions will also help – a lot. As would the directive that all adults in working in therapeutic, health care or educational environments work on their own regulation – neurodivergent or otherwise - so that they foster communal connection and ooze a limbic resonance of ‘I’m safe and non-reactive.’ 

Having good regulation (an autonomic nervous system which has solid wiring, capacity and good flow) is essential for all aspects of wellbeing. Regulation supports impulse control, thought, emotional and sensation tolerance and social engagement. It is in the social engagement, ventral vagal parasympathetic portion of the nervous system that we feel connected to others and the environment and safe (Porges, 2011). When in this zone we are in our window of tolerance (a term coined by Dr Dan Seigel), resilient and regulated. We are able to deal with day-today living and process, digest and deactivate the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight arousal) and return to social engagement – where we are again calm, curious and creative.

My mentor Irene Lyon explains that supporting regulation for autistic and non-autistic alike involves the following steps: nervous system education, support and connection, physiology mastery via neurosensory and somatic exercises, building the ability to stay present to feelings and sensations and building capacity.

Having access to those items or activities which soothe our nervous systems – be it specific sensory items, fabrics, headphones, stimming or scents of choice all build regulation.

For autistic people, resourcing – having access to those items or activities which soothe our nervous systems – be it specific sensory items, fabrics, headphones, stimming or scents of choice (lavender oil is my personal go-to) all build regulation – alongside time spent doing (and talking about) our special interests and having more time to process information alone to decompress will all expand our window of tolerance and support regulation.

I’m fortunate my special interests include making sense of being in a body and understanding sensation. These special interests led me to somatics, nervous system education and an understanding that there needs to be a bottom-up approach in autistic-friendly environments.  We need to come out of the mind and into the body. Through tolerating sensation and feelings, we regulate as autistic people. We need external environments and other humans to coregulate with to support that to happen.

We’re helping teams to understand how regulation reduces the risk of restraint and supporting them to put these ideas into practice.

For more information, get in touch




Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W W Norton & Co.

Kay Louise Aldred

Associate (she/her)

Kay is passionate about increasing awareness of the gifts of neurodivergence. She is late diagnosed autistic, has parented neurodivergent children of her own and has taught 11-18 year old neurodiverse students. Kay has worked pastorally and therapeutically with children and adults throughout her whole career within educational, retreat and wellness settings. Currently she offers Disability Student Allowance (DSA) specialist university mentoring for autistic students.

@kaylouisealdred

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